


Adam and Eve- No, not those two; the adult toy store

by PeneighDzredfohl



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sex Shop, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Dirty Talk, Husbands, Kinky, M/M, Sassy Bilbo Baggins, The Author Regrets Nothing, shy Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 08:45:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18937477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeneighDzredfohl/pseuds/PeneighDzredfohl
Summary: Bilbo and Thorin like to spice things up in their marriage. Missionary style vanilla is nice once in a while...but there is so much more out there. Thorin loves to play but hates to shop. Bilbo takes sadistic pleasure in dragging Thorin along to the shops, and it all goes downhill from there until they get home.





	Adam and Eve- No, not those two; the adult toy store

**Author's Note:**

> This is me and my spouse. Only I'm the embarrassed one!

Adam & Eve-Not the biblical couple, the sex shop.

For as much as Thorin wore the persona of the naughty partner in their relationship, Bilbo seemed to be the only person to notice Thorin’s more reserved and prudish side. It wasn’t that Thorin didn’t like toys. On the contrary, he loved to play. He just didn’t like the shopping part... in a store... full of strangers... with the cashier quietly judging their purchases. So, it was with much coaxing that Bilbo dragged Thorin to Adam & Eve to hunt for their evening’s entertainment.

Bilbo couldn’t resist picking up the biggest dildo in the shop while leering at Thorin.

Thorin's face flushed that adorable shade of pink reminiscent of his buttocks after a firm spanking.

“You want to stuff this inside me when we get home?” Bilbo asked at a volume far above a whisper, his eyebrows wiggling. Of course, the other customers looked at them.

“Bilbo!” Thorin whisper yelled.

“What? Too big?”

“Keep your voice down!”

“You’re right. Too big. How about this one. It has 10 different vibration settings. Oh, wait! This one starts out skinny but gets really fat when you pump it full of air while it's inside. That’s one way to prepare my arse for that meaty dick of yours.”

Thorin hated that he loved how unashamed his husband was to announce to an entire stadium of people that he enjoyed bottoming.

“Fine. It’ll do.” Thorin snatched the dragon-shaped knotting vibrator and slammed it on the checkout desk. Any hope he had of escaping the shop without further humiliation evaporated when the clerk took the rubber dick out of the packaging to test that it worked.

“We’ll take some of these flavored lubes too please,” Bilbo said, peeking around Thorin's large bicep.

“Next time we are shopping online!” Thorin pouted as they got in the car.

Bilbo smiled. Thorin had no idea about the new sex swing all set up and ready waiting for them at home.

“Thorin, have I done anything stupid lately?”

“Yes. Yes, you have.”

"Good, then you'll really enjoy tonight!"


End file.
